6 unquestionable truths when you’ve got a baby

Despite starting the day clean and fresh, still with a hint of last night’s bath, your little one will end the day resembling a Dickensian street urchin- matted hair, unexplained stains and a face that looks like it’s never been near water.

You put one on every night but you’re guaranteed never to be able to correctly button up a babygro first time. It’s like the poppers are playing games and no babygro, no matter how similar, buttons up in exactly the same way. It’s a conspiracy between retailers to push you a step closer to the edge.

Bath poo:
Your baby will poo in the bath at least once. You’ll be lucky if you can pull them out while the log is still intact (heaven help you if your baby hasn’t progressed onto logs!) More commonly the splashing will result in, quite literally, a mud bath.

Missing baby:
You’ve had a busy, full on day with the little one. You’ve been wishing it was bedtime since about 1pm. You will not be responsible for your actions if you have to sing ‘Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’ even once more. They eventually go to sleep. You’re exhausted…but then you find yourself missing their cuddles and their warm little bodies… and go and watch them while they’re asleep. What’s that all about??

Your baby absolutely loves x meal. Adores it. It’s your fail safe and ‘go to’… that is until you’re rushing to feed them as you have to get out. This will be the moment they go off it.

Missing zzzzzs:
You’re feeling a little smug. Your baby’s been (generally) good, rarely ill and the sleepless nights never really happened… until you start back at work. You wanted to go back looking refreshed, instead you look like you’ve been punched in the face. In just my first couple of weeks back at work I dealt with teething, cough, fever and multiple projectile vomiting episodes. Who really needs sleep, eh?

Image: Credit unknown. I’d love to credit you if I can!

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